BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns Paperback – September 16, 2014

If you have a hard time knowing what to say when someone is coming at you and you feel like you talk in circles, this book give you the framework to know what to say to a high-conflict person!

This book helped me tremendously. It helped me realise that I used email communication in highly conflictual situations in a suboptimal manner.I shared with my husband and ended up buying many other titles of Bill Eddy’s.You get real advice with examples that are readily implementable.Indispensable in anyone’s library.

The BIFF series of books were written specifically to help you manage your interactions with those who you often find it difficult. The author calls such individuals "High Conflict People" (or HCPs). As a therapist I work with HCPs often, so I am quite familiar with HCPs. I hadn't read such a concise and practical set of methods that the reader can employ to make interactions with HCPs tolerable and minimizes damages caused to either party.This particular edition (with a red cover), titled "QUICK RESPONSES TO HIGH CONFLICT PEOPLE: THEIR PERSONAL ATTACKS, HOSTILE EMAIL AND SOCIAL MEDIA MELTDOWNS". This book deals with how to cope with HCPs' attacks via electronic devices - a unique medium that allows one to formulate a well-thought out, measured and appropriate response. As compared to in-person confrontation, where it can be easy to forget all sense of logic or reason, responding out of pure emotion often leads to hurt feelings and misunderstandings, with no change in the conflicted situation that began the whole thing.This is the book for you if you're battling with someone who pushes, prods or provokes you with every interaction, disrupting your sense of peace and contentedness. Don't let them do that any longer, take control, buy this $10 book and learn to handle such individuals as the appropriate adult that you are!

I bought this book for help in dealing with my ex, and it really was helpful. About half of the book was advice for specific situations that don't apply to me, but I liked that it was so far reaching even though I didn't need all of the targeted advice. It's pretty short - I thought the content was five star, but thought it was a bit over priced for the length. The advice in this book really helped me to take my emotional reactivity out of my communication with my ex, and my husband and I always read over my emails now with "BIFF" in mind before we hit send. Now if only I could get my ex to read it....

I work in customer service, and even though this book mainly focuses on written communication I can definitely apply some of these techniques to customer interactions. It also can work with coworkers, neighbors, and family members. Eddy doesn't waste a lot of time explaining why people behave the way they do but just gives you the practical tips for dealing with them. I have already ordered some of the author's other books.

After years of dealing with a high conflict ex spouse, and less than a year into mediating we use a Special Master (judge) for disagreements on how our divorce decree and the code is interpreted, he assigned us a book report due on this book through an order of the court. I was so relieved that he could see who was the cause of the turmoil that I ordered the book the same day he filed the order, read it, and had a book report in his inbox in under a week. I knew I was dealing with a high conflict individual and this book has been a game changer. I don’t have to defend myself from any of their false accusations. Just keeping all communication brief, informative, friendly and firm. Miraculously, her demands and accusations have stopped. Highly recommended!

This book provides strategies for dealing with hostile co-workers or anyone you may encounter. Bill Eddy shows you how to take the high road and maintain your professional reputation. Easy to read and straight to the point.

I am a mediator and was about to mediate a case in which one party had been diagnosed a high-conflict personality. Not knowing what that meant or how to work such a label, I picked up this book for help. And that's what I found - help. It prepared me to work that person in a respectful way and model setting boundaries for the others in the dispute. Not only that, but I learned in hindsight what managed to ruin another important relationship in my life and gave me some ideas about how I could have responded in a better way. I've recommended this book to several friends and colleagues to help them in their relationships. The author, Bill Eddy, has other books out, too. I learned too late to recommend this to a friend who went through a disastrous divorce with a narcissist. It would have helped immensely. Not only that - but the books is easy to read, the skills are easy to put into practice, and so brief, informative, friendly, and firm that all of us can quickly understand and get on board.