How to Stop Being a Narcissist: Real and Proven Strategies to Change Narcissistic / Manipulative Behavior and Stop Sabotaging Your Relationships Paperback – February 6, 2023

This book helped me put a word to many of the manipulative strategies that I employ while engaging with other people. I'll use this information to forge healthier relationships with my loved ones, leading me out of narcissistic behavioral patterns.P.S. - This book is informative for everyone, and helpful for most. Many of us use these under-handed strategies as they have worked for us in the past, even if we aren't that narcissistic, and especially if we have had to navigate any kind of prolonged interaction with a narcissistic individual or individuals.

I ordered this book because both of my parents are narcissists. I thought maybe I could read this book first, , highlight some things, and send it to them in an effort to show them that I don’t deserve the treatment they give me. I’ve tried talking to them before about their behavior, but they act like I’m making everything up. Anyway, this book has a lot of good information in it and really confirms the things that I’ve been thinking about my family for quite some time. My only complaint is that on the quiz Numbers 8,9 and 10 are all the same questions and answers. So now I don’t know if I can give them the book because then they would just complain about that. Because , well, you know how narcissists are! I’m pretty sure it’s just a typo, so I’m still gonna give it five stars ! Can’t wait to read more of you books in the future! Thank you!

I will have to say that this book won’t cure or treat you, but it is an absolute fabulous way to get started on your journey. Just like with anything. Step 1 is wanting to change. Or nothing will work. 2 is consistent changed behavior. And lots of patience. Very well put. Not a long read but very informative and eye opening. Thank you Erik!

The chapter 'Highly Effective Steps Toward Healing' was a real highlight of this book for me. The author presents a clear and actionable plan for overcoming narcissistic tendencies and repairing relationships that have been damaged by this behavior. I was impressed by the level of detail and the practical tips provided, and I feel much more confident in my ability to make positive changes in my life as a result. If you're looking for a roadmap to healing and growth, this chapter is an excellent place to start.

It's unfortunate that the author speaks to overt narcissistic traits and doesn't also explain covert narcissism. Culturally, we associate narcissism with the more obvious, inflated, grandiose, arrogant type. Most people (including and especially victims of narcissistic abuse) won't recognize covert narcissism for what it is -- preventing them from uncovering resources for getting help (prolonging the devastating effects of things like manipulation, gaslighting, and other forms of abuse). Likewise, a covert narcissist who is curious about the consequences of their behaviors, or the feedback they're receiving from a loved one -- someone who is open to taking accountability and working toward change might end up dismissing the possibility when they don't identify with the overt traits listed at the beginning.Also, the book starts by saying that anyone who is wondering if they might be a narcissist probably isn't one. Why write a book that seeks to educate and support this population (for whom one of the symptoms is a lack of insight and accountability) and then suggest they probably don't have the issue simply because they're open to reading the book?Outside of this, I think the book is excellent. It's compassionate and approaches the subject with dignity and respect. People with NPD or NP traits are behaving as they are from a wounded place -- it's a maladaptive pattern of protection that hurts others (whereas their victims are often/also using maladaptive patterns of protection that hurt themselves). Both deserve compassion and both deserve treatment. I appreciate that this author has found a way to encourage accountability and change while also honoring the humanity and worthiness of the reader who struggles with these issues -- especially because there's already so much shame. (Including the shame of having hurt people they love.) This prevents many addicts from entering recovery, too.Anyone who recognizes these traits within themselves and is willing to do the work to heal and change has my utmost respect.

This book appears to be a collection of maxims from an author who doesn’t have any credentials or credibility. I blame myself for buying based on the review rating overall and desperately trying to address a relationship in my life.Here’s a list of odd maxims from the book, none of which have any citation, sourcing or science backed research:1. “And, because most people whom narcissists have harmed are nearly overly sensitive, they’re afraid of harming others.”What? Seriously! Read that to someone who has been the victim or survivor of a narcissistic person.2. “Genetic: Twin studies have repeatedly demonstrated that genes significantly impact how empathy develops, accounting for one-third and one-half of the differences between children.”Ok. What source or study asserts this?3. “My first piece of advice is to quit putting others down. You may say that you try hard, but that’s not in your control. I would answer that you could at least aim for 75% if you can’t hit 100%.”What?! In chapter 8 of the book the author offers their “first piece of advice!” This along with the statement itself is just odd.If you’re looking for book that more insightful into narcissism look at Wendy Behary’s “disarming narcissism” which is targeted toward partners of narcissitcs and do some YouTube searches on Peter Young, Wendy Behary and Schema Therapy which has proven to be very healing for those with narcissistic tendencies. Prepare to take lots of notes and take your time going through the learnings.