Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners

The subject of Parentification, which is basically what this book is about, is much misunderstood and overlooked. Whilst there’s a lot of books and support around for children who’ve been physically or sexually abused (and rightly so) there’s not much about to support those who’ve been emotionally abused. The confusing thing about growing up with this kind of dynamic is you can’t quite pinpoint what was wrong, mainly because the abuse is disguised as love or care.I’ve suffered for many years with depression, poor relationships and a general lack of self care. This book helps explain that it’s not your fault, that you weren’t given the right tools when growing up and that being angry is ok.However, at some point you need to find some peace with it all and make the best of things. Forgiveness is a personal choice and nowadays I keep an arms length relationship with both my parents and I stopped over sharing with them and learnt to keep my life private. That’s sad because you believe your parents will always have your best interests at heart. But if you’ve grown up in a toxic family dynamic you come to realise that’s not actually the case.Anyone who’s been effected by this kind of upbringing would do well to also look up articles on Parentification and co-dependent and narcissistic relationships. It might well save your life and give you a shot at finding some happiness.

There are virtually no books out there on the subject matter of this one - ie the experience of one of your parents making you their "special" companion, without any overt emotional or sexual abuse taking place. This happened to me with both my parents - their own relationship with each other had withered away, and they each used me (the youngest child of 3) as a proxy companion.

He speaks about many case studies first, and then at the end he brings it all together, it starts to make sense and you can see the bigger picture, how many people are children reenacting their childhood patterns.

Its hard to review a book without spoling it for someone. Would highly recommend reading. Very interesting and thought provoking, to understanding a theory on how and why we have certain interactions and how certain things in our lives shape our futures.

Quite a good read but very pop psychology

I had an idea about what this book was like, but as it was so short I wondered how beneficial it would be.It is very easy to read and lays down the dynamics of what causes a man to be enmeshed to their mother.Highly recommended.

Amazing book!

A very enlightening read into family dynamics and the long lasting effects on the individual