Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self

I've used learning from this book to enhance my professional practice and understanding - and yes it has also enhanced my personal understanding of why some friendships and relationships cause little niggles that never go away.There are good tools and good insights in this book that make it a must have. Wish I had read it much sooner.

Having read 14 books in total about relationships.... this by far the most effective and clear. However if you are a couple your the other half needs to read it too to make it work, however, the book is very good reminder and beneficial for ones innate ability to be kind .

Like all of Charles Whitfield's writings that I've read, this has been hugely helpful to me, once I was ready to use it. Partly because of the clear, text-book-like layout, and the diagrams, his books can look like theoretical treatises or texts for academic study. Personally, I doubt they'd work well, used in that way. For me, their real value has appeared when I read at the speed of the heart, not the cognitive critical brain. The more I allow his words to relate to my felt experience, the more they help.Is he preaching to the choir? That is, could someone with no experience or sense of healthy boundaries read this book and go from zero to boundaries (and then beyond) by the end of the book?Perhaps not: perhaps more fine grained description of experiences of unhealthy boundaries or their lack, as those play out in ordinary life, might have made the problem a bit clearer; and perhaps some more practical examples of how to establish boundaries, or how people have established them in practice, would have made the problem and the solution a bit more relatable.But these are quibbles, when set against the fact that once, this book didn't exist, and now it does. The work will continue; and thank heaven for CW and the band of other pioneers who have done so much to create and promote it.

Very interesting. Makes more sense the more you go along. Explains things in different ways, making it accessible to everyone, I believe.

I found this an interesting read. I found some of the ideas resonant and applicable to my self. It offered solutions, which is mainly why I bought it. Some of it also explained ideas I have come across before. So far very helpful. However the reader is frequently reminded that healing is a massive undertaking and requires the help of others (rather than self). The others appear to be therapists, which I believe the author to be. So I am left thinking it is more an advert for therapists than a book which can help you. I suspect that therapists think of themsleves as the new age high priesthood, holding knowledge and having access to powers us common folk don't possess. On the whole though, it does offer hope in that I can understand more clearly ways in which I can develop personally, how I can develop, but infortunately a) that I can't afford it and b) that at my age, I probably don't have the time left to achieve the nirvana this book aspires to!

A fantastic book. I learnt so much from this it was life changing. You dont realise how important boundaries are.

This is one of the best books on understanding Boundaries in relationships and I have recommended it to students and clients for years. Remarkable how many people have no idea what boundaries are.

Bought as a gift fro a close friend having a tough time. Great insight for her before starting therapy.

This book explains in detail about different boundaries of where you begin and others end by knowing yourself better. There were several situations I never considered a boundary invasion so I learned a lot. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand themselves more compassionately.

a must read , great self help book

juste une "mise en bouche" pour un travail futur , un petit aperçu de ce que peut valoir un travail personnel avec un proféssionnel

This book helped me understand how boundaries work in multiple ways. We can have weak boundaries and allow others to invade our space and ask too much of us, but we can also have permeable or unhealthy boundaries by expecting too much of others -- by doing this we invade THEIR boundaries, even in small ways. I had always tended to think of boundaries in terms of the first definition, in other words, I saw many instances in my life where I accommodated or enabled people and didn't take steps to keep my own space sacred. This book helped me see that I had also transgressed in interesting ways by wanting others to fulfill certain expectations I had of them, which led to disappointment and resentment (in myself, mainly -- but probably also contributed to a less-than-ideal relationship). Reading the book had the unexpected effect of making me respect both myself AND others more. There's a quiz-like personal assessment at the beginning of the book to which the author frequently refers, and it's very helpful in making the various chapters personally relevant to the reader. I recommend the book.

Thank you