Do these have a bit of a stretch to them? Or are they stiff?

They have some stretch in the waistband but the legs are stiff

Can a kid pull down for potty without help unbuttoning, etc

Hello! These have an EZ-fit waist which features snap closure, no zipper, inner adjustable tabs and elasticized back waist, making it easy to pull down without unbuttoning. Thank you!

If my son is 9 months and weighs 19.7 lb what size is recommended?

Really depends on the height of your son because the waist has adjustable buttons which I love cuz you can buy them a little longer and it can grow with them and get your money's worth out them a little bit longer hope that helps thank you

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