Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get on with Life Paperback – Illustrated, 14 August 2014

This book helps the caretaker to understand what they are thinking and doing wrong. It further provides examples of how one gets away from the care taking role

This is book is life saver for those who are living with BP/NP and acting as caretaker. I have read numerous books on BP/NP, but this book is best amongst all others. Not that others were bad. It has capability to make real difference in you. Very thorough, detailed and information.

What is Narcissistic personality disorder,NP? We can easily identify NP persons in our society, in political bosses behaviour,at office, even in our family, if we read this bòok.This mental I'll health is INVISIBLE to anyone except to their CARETAKER.Even our society is filled with 20%of NP/BP.It's more important for everyone to know at what symptoms& situations we find BP/NP persons are.

I found this book to be incredibly helpful. I read this on kindle but plan to buy a hardcopy. There are many areas of the book that i will have to revisit, re-read and re-absorb. This book is a guide to healing and about reclaiming one’s life. A must read for anyone who is in a close relationship with w bp/np.

Thorough, non pandering guidelines with actionable steps to navigate realtionships with those with personality disorders. A bible.

If you’re here you probably already see yourself in the Caretaker role. I’m currently on my third read through of this book in 3 years. A LOT has changed and a good deal of that is down to shaking distorted thinking, made obvious in this book.There are few resources for those suffering from personal disorders and there are almost none for their Caretakers. Please don’t hesitate on this book if it even slightly sounds relatable to you. This is a book you deserve and it will pay you back in dividends. Best of luck!

Je n’ai pas grand chose à rajouter sur certains commentaires que j’ai lu (Olympe en particulier qui rejoint tout à fait ma perception but others in English too).J’aurais voulu trouver ce livre bien avant.Une vrai révélation, offrant à la fois une meilleure compréhension et compassion sans jugement sur la personne atteinte de NPD/BPD (il y a tellement de livres stigmatisants et comme lu dans un long commentaire le terme ‘pervers narcissiste’ est porteur de confusion), mais surtout un éclairage important sur le ‘caretaker’, ses propres failles et points communs avec la personne atteinte du trouble de personnalité.Chacun aura sa propre et unique expérience, mais personnellement, même si le futur reste incertain, ce livre m’a permit de me remettre en cause, de faire face à quelques dures réalités de ma propre attitude.

I don't know where to start. The book is dead on. It's humbling and comforting and empowering. Humbling to realize the part I play--and boggling that I couldn't see it on my own. Comforting to understand certain traits in myself that baffled me. And ultimately, empowering to know that little by little I can create a complete life--hopefully one with less fatigue, fewer migraines, less anaphylactic shock, and less muscle pain. Sound like you? ;-)I've mostly been living in the cut-off part of the caretaker spectrum (avoidance), where I knew I had vulnerabilities, but I didn't understand them. I knew I possessed traits that made me excel professionally (in a helping profession) but did not serve me well personally. I could go on, but I think I'd write a book.There are a lot of good books out there to supplement this one. One possibility might be Feeling Good by David Burns, MD. It's basically on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). There's a workbook, too, that's well reviewed, although I haven't bought it (I kind of made my own workbook). For example, right now, even in the mostly cut-off caretaker phase, I have some people trying to suck the life out of me. From a CBT standpoint, I try to switch my internal response from a flight or flight involving the f-bomb (which I don't tell them, hence the migraines) to: "This moment is a gift. Think of the part I played--how I wanted to help them when I first met them, thinking that'd be adequate to alleviate their anxiety. Yeah, stop doing that when I meet people. When I have the urge to help, remember this crazy-making moment. Instead, evaluate the situation and myself first." Joseph Shannon, PhD, whose seminars I've taken through the Institute for Brain Potential (and who led me to realize that borderline personality disorder (BPD) probably best described a parent, and I knew that understanding that parent would lead to self-awareness) advises that you hold strict, unwavering boundaries when you first meet someone with BPD. Dr. Fjelstad's book mostly addresses how to handle things once they're in your life. It's such a huge issue, that many sources are probably best. Dr. Fjelstad's book is at the top for me.Thank you, Dr. Fjelstad! May God bless you and yours.