Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, Identify, and Stop Microaggressions

I read this book in the span of two days because I found it so helpful and enlightening. I will be reading it again to think about it more deeply and solidify more of the language. The book provides useful and approachable concepts for talking and thinking about subtle acts of exclusion SAE (also known as microaggressions). It covers whether one is the subject of the SAE, overhears it and speaks up on behalf of others, or when we ourselves initiate an SAE. The latter is particularly useful for those of us who need to give ourselves as much "grace" as we provide others who are embarrassed by unintentional SAE. I've found my emotional energy drained recently after a lot of tough conversations and working in my own way to disrupt SAE. When those interactions don't go well it can become exhausting and disheartening. This book reinvigorated my desire to continue working towards kinder more inclusive language from myself and everyone I communicate with by giving me new tools and language to get there.

Clear and concise on the subject of subtle acts of exclusion (SAE) as an alternate (and better) term to microaggressions.I found this book to be helpful to understand a framework of having conversations about things people say and do that can subtly exclude people who are different in a variety of ways.One nitpick. I bought the Kindle version of this book and while Chapter 5 is on Gender and Sexuality SAE it is incorrectly labelled in the Kindle version. On Kindle, the heading for Chapter 5 in my version is wrong - it reads Chapter 5 Race and Ethnicity SAE. I got quite confused and read several pages thinking, I wonder why this chapter is discussing Gender and Sexuality when it's titled about Race and Ethnicity. Then I got to Chapter 6 and see the that the previous chapter *should* have been labelled Chapter 5: Gender and Sexuality SAE. Hope this is corrected in future versions of the Kindle book.

I read this as part of supplemental reading for work. I like how they explain the premises. This is a book for someone that is beggining to be interested in this topic.

This was the book for our women's book club at the office. This book really encouraged us to look at ourselves and others and we had lots of discussions. I liked it so much I brought back to my prject team and we also did this book.

I used this book to guide a conversation with my staff. After going through implicit bias and what are microaggressions/SAEs a hand shot up with someone asking, "But what do you suggest we DO?" It was helpful to have concrete steps to help people process how to handle the conversations on both sides. Everyone keeps saying they are so afraid of saying the wrong thing. Twitter is really aggressive with the call out culture. This book is a good tool for everyone to try to sit down and have a conversation that supports knowing better then doing better.I really hope the term subtle acts of exclusions catches on - it really helps people understand it better.

They claim to be about inclusion but create division by the end of the 1st chapter. One of my classes chose this book for the curriculum. The final for the class was a book report about this book; I was surprised to have received 100% from an instructor that doesn't believe in giving that grade, given the review I wrote.If it wasn't 9 pages long, I would have posted it as my review. Here is the conclusion: "The author's desire is to express ways to promote inclusion rather than exclusion within the workplace and the community at large. I have demonstrated that the effort proved to be directed towards the exclusion of those who do not agree with their premise, those who happen to witness what the authors have determined are SAEs, and even those considered to be marginalized by transferring their offense onto the 3 author-marginalized participants. I have established that there is a heavy burden placed on individuals, especially those in authority, to consider themselves as initiators of SAEs, even if they were unaware they were guilty of subconsciously and/or unconsciously committing SAEs. Had this book not been required reading for this class, I would have returned it to the place of purchase by the end of chapter 1; if I made it that far. This is unfortunate since I would have missed the fact that there are good points. Throughout the entirety of the book, I continually found myself feeling marginalized and offended. As a manager, I found myself asking, “At what point am I supposed to take time to perform actual management activities?” For a manager to track all of what constitutes SAEs (bearing in mind that the authors state that this book contained only a small sampling of SAEs), they would require another 4-year degree. Given that every culture (race) has similar versions of SAEs embedded deep within their cultural lexicon, would it not be better to train managers in the art of conflict resolution? Hire a coach that helps in identifying potential cultural biases and how to address them and have workshops on empathy and compassion in the workplace.I understand that this next statement is a harsh judgment of the book, but it reads a lot like Critical Race Theory. Telling a particular individual or group that you are stuck in a certain condition and it will not change because of your cultural background, not only widens the gap between understanding and the cultural ignorance that exists in every culture. The real losers are the incredible minds just waiting for their chance to change the world.As with many issues that plague our communities and workplaces today, the book appears to be too heavily focused on what does or doesn’t make an individual or group less than or victims. We cannot possibly survive without embracing that which makes us both the same AND different. Would it not be better to develop education processes that help people not take offense, but rather see SAEs as an opportunity to bridge the gap of understanding? Everyone needs to take ownership of their feelings and give the benefit of the doubt that the initiator was unaware of how their actions or words were difficult for them, then show how it was hurtful to the Subject. Is it fair that the offended are put into the position of a teacher? No. However, (taking a page from the book), if you have a problem helping those unaware of the hurtfulness of something they were not aware of, the question should then be is the issue about SAEs or pride. It only takes 1 person to start a movement.I believe “Subtle Acts of Exclusion” falls short of the target of exclusion, and follows the same pattern of exclusion many of today’s movements have served to create. While many of the processes outlined in the book have merit, they are caught up in more than most businesses, and business managers, have time to assimilate and reproduce. Due to these shortfalls, many who could have benefited from the lessons that are insightful and well thought out may not fall on those that could truly benefit from its wisdom."

I had my team all download this book, read it, and then held an open discussion about the subtle acts of exclusion we've each experienced in our lives. One of them said, "this was the single most impactful discussion I've had in my career". The examples the book gives, and the reflection it requires you to do provides a new way of looking at microaggressions that brings naysayers along and allows an opportunity to learn and build new habits. Highly, highly recommend!

This book provides simple and practical ways to address those subtle comments that many don't realize we are even making! It's not about judging or blaming/shaming but understanding how to do/be better.

What a waste. How can saying merry Christmas of happy holidays be offensive? Book was total waste of my time and money.